She carried you for nine months and birthed you within hours.
She made sure you had the essentials of life (food, clothing, shelter, and an education).
She placed her needs on the backburner while yours took top priority.
She protected you from all harm as best she could.
She made sure that you were courageously and knowledgeably prepared to meet the demands of this world.
Above all, she loves you unconditionally and will continue to do so until she takes her last breath.
This is a mother … a good mother.
So, with all this being the case, does a mother have the right to meddle in her adult children’s personal lives?
In all honesty, no.
The Difference Between Motherly Advice and Meddling
As adults, sometimes we must make mistakes in order to learn a lesson. For instance, think about childhood: did your mother ever tell you not to do something and you did it anyway? After learning the lesson of what she was trying to spare you of, did you do it again?
I bet you didn’t, and this is the same situation with our personal lives.
In addition, some people get annoyed when others tell them what to do – even if it’s for their own good. So, if a mother is meddling in her children’s personal affairs, this could drive them to do the opposite of what she’s warning them against. In effect, it only worsens matters.
Please note that I’m talking about adult children here NOT minor children. Whereas adults can tend to their own business, minors can’t.
I do think it’s good for a mother to give her children advice. After all, she has enough life experience to make her a wise person. Plus whatever advice she gives them is out of genuine love – no strings attached.
However, after she’s spoken her words of wisdom, it’s up to her children to decide what they will do. They’re old enough to know right from wrong, and accept the consequences of doing wrong.
Nevertheless, if he or she makes the wrong decision, I imagine it’s hard for a mother to stand by and watch her children wreck their lives. Still the same, the choice is theirs, and mothers must accept this.
And the saying goes “grown folks go do what grown folks wanna do.”
If a mother outright tells her children what they can and can’t do, this is not only ridiculous, but unfair too. Despite having raised them, a mother must realize that her children are grown and capable of making their own decisions. Even if they come to her for advice, she mustn’t mistake it as them asking her to make the decision for them. They’re just simply seeking a wiser head than theirs.
And besides, why force a grown person to do something that they might not actually want to do?
So, as you can see, there’s a big difference between giving advice and meddling!
Coming Soon: Her Married Lover
In my upcoming eBook, “Her Married Lover,” Regina’s mother, Ruth Matthews, is in this situation. She knows that Regina is involved with a married man.
She hates it. She despises it to the point that she’s always expressing her opinion about it.
She’s constantly warning her daughter that she’s making a huge mistake, but her daughter refuses to listen. She sees her mother’s warnings as an attempt to run her life.
So the question for you is this: does a mother have the right to meddle in her adult children’s personal lives? As previously mentioned, “grown folks go do what grown folks wanna do”, but this still doesn’t stop some mothers from trying to run the show, i.e., their children’s lives.
So what are your thoughts on this one? Please feel free to share by commenting in the box below (scroll down).
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Until next time, have a great week!
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