Reality Check: Spousal Abuse

spousal abuse

Flickr Photo by Etienne Valois/Creative Commons

In my new eBook “Tomorrow Never Comes,” Marlena Brown-Mason is in an abusive marriage. She eventually leaves, yet is terrified that her husband, Otis Mason, will find her.

While this is a fictional story, there is reality to it. And the reality is 2-4 million women are abused each year. This is just in America alone.

Here are some more disturbing facts about spousal abuse:

  • A woman is beaten every 15 seconds
  • Nearly ½ of abusive men also abuse their children
  • 50% of homeless American women and children are escaping domestic violence
  • Women face the highest risk of abuse when they leave or threaten to leave their abusers. Reporting their abusers to authorities also carries a high risk
  • Nearly 1 in 3 women either have or will experience domestic abuse in their lifetime
  • Every year, as many as 324,000 women experience domestic violence during their pregnancy
  • An estimated 3.3 million children are exposed to domestic violence, which is usually against their mothers
  • Boys who regularly witness domestic abuse firsthand are three times more likely to become abusive men versus boys who aren’t raised in such environments

Even teenagers are now part of the statistics:

  • Nearly 1 in 5 teenage girls have been threatened with violence when they attempted to breakup with their boyfriends
  • As much as 13% of teen girls have been physically hurt in a relationship
  • Nearly 80% of physically abused teenage girls continue to date their abusers
  • Each year, 30% of young women between the ages 15-19 were murdered by their boyfriend or husband

The Reasons Women Stay

With these upsetting statistics, why do women stay? Here are some of the reasons:

  • She fears that her abuser will find her and harm her. Therefore, she feel it’s unsafe to leave
  • She believes that abuse is a normal part of a relationship. This is particularly the case with women who grew up in an abusive environment
  • Low self-esteem can make a woman think it’s her fault that she’s being abused. This low self-esteem derives from her abuser’s constant put-downs
  • Believing that love can conquer all, some women think that their abuser will change – for the sake of love. Such women want to end the abuse, not the relationship
  • Some abusers present themselves as “good guys.” Thus, it’s hard for others to believe they’re capable of such violence. Given this, an abused woman may fear that nobody will believe her
  • Cultural or religious reasons might make a woman feel compelled to stay and “toughen it out.” To leave could possibly be frowned upon by her culture or religion
  • An abused woman could lack the money to leave; she’s financially dependent on her abuser for everything
  • She has nowhere to go, especially if her family is deceased, residing in another state or country; she has no friends. This reason doubles if her escape involves children, for she believes nobody will be willing to house her and children too

There’s absolutely no reason for a man to beat a woman … just as there’s no reason for a woman to stay. Domestic violence is NOT normal and it’s NOT healthy.

For anyone who has or will read “Tomorrow Never Comes,” you will see I dedicated the story to Carrie “Toostie” Williams. This is my deceased grandmother.

She was in an abusive marriage for many years. Based on the painful memories my mother has shared with me throughout the years, I have one valuable piece of advice to women in this predicament:

Get out because it won’t get better!

So, ladies, if you’re in an abusive relationship or know someone who is, take this moment right now  to click the link below and get help:

The National Domestic Violence Hotline

Like I stated earlier, Marlena Brown-Mason is fictional, yet her story is reality for millions of women. So, please, by all means, don’t let her story be your reality. Click the above link now!

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Until next time, have a great week!

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